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Post By Anime Jason Sat Oct 22, 2005 at 12:36:01 pm EDT |
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Adventures In Parodyverse - Beach Combers (Part 2) | |
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Adventures In Parodyverse - Beach Combers "Jay," Liu Xi greeted him quietly with a nod as he entered the attic. She sat cross-legged on a cushion on the floor, and a silk napkin snuck from the Lair Mansion dining room protected her lap from a snack she was eating off of a paper plate. He was dressed rather nice, trying on the clothing he meant to wear later on a date. "You're eating in this dusty--" he stopped himself right there when he realized that the attic, while cluttered, was not spotless. Even the light bulbs had been replaced. "Wow. How long did it take you to do this?" "Five or ten minutes," she replied. "Including the light bulbs." Jay paused for a moment, trying to imagine just how she managed to clean up the attic so quickly. He came up empty. "So what else have you been up to?" he asked. "You're in a good mood." Liu Xi smiled. "Last time you were here you were depressed. Why are you here now?" "I wanted to thank you for the visit to the beach," he replied. "It really helped me clear my head." "That's not what I heard," Liu Xi teased. "I heard you lost a simulated fight and Trickshot had to save you." "Is that what he's saying?" Jay asked angrily. He shook that off a moment later. "Never mind. Okay, maybe it didn't help me a hundred percent but it gave me a break just when I needed one. And you even got bathing suits because I asked." She shrugged. "I don't know you very well," she said. "I didn't want you to feel embarrassed." "It wasn't too much trouble, was it?" he asked. "You did look very cute in yours." Liu Xi smiled. "After that compliment I guess we can call it even." She quickly changed the topic back to Jay. "I heard about Zdenka," she said. "That she divorced her so-called husband for you." "Actually he divorced her," Jay corrected. "You really shouldn't get your information from Trickshot." "That was from Lisa," Liu Xi told him. "Remind me to have a talk with Lisa too," he replied. He then sighed and sat on the now clean floor next to her. "Thing is, I'm still so nervous, and I'm not sure why. I should be relieved, I should be very happy." "Jay, you aren't one to take pleasure in someone else's misfortune, even if it's good luck for you," Liu Xi pointed out. "You're right, but I didn't really know Captain Mud that well..." "No, Zdenka's misfortune," Liu Xi clarified. "That her heart had to break so you could both be happier." "And I'm not sure it's real," he added. He gave Liu Xi a questioning look. "What would you think if a government know to lie arranged something for you, and the timing seemed very suspicious?" Liu Xi looked at him sideways. "I would want to investigate," she said. "Which I will help you with if you wish." "You're not a detective," he pointed out. "And if you bring Yuki with you she'll just get in trouble with Sir Mumphrey again." "It's not that difficult," Liu Xi told him. "I only need to find Captain Mud and see if he is indeed with his former wife and family as claimed." "Oh." Jay replied. "Even so I'd rather you didn't. There's too much risk involved. I don't want to find out that the Lair Legion had to rescue you from Candia." "Do I look like a girl who has to be rescued?" Liu Xi asked him with a sly smile. Jay couldn't help but smile at that. "I know, but...some things are better handled through official channels, Liu Xi. Besides, why would the Candian government lie about this? Just making my life and Zdenka's complicated is no kind of motive." "It's because Captain Mud wouldn't give Zdenka a child," Liu Xi guessed. "Huh?" Jay seemed confused. "He wouldn't give her a child," Liu Xi repeated. "That's a motive. If they wish to breed more super powered beings they need you to father Zdenka a child." She looked up at Jay to add, "They don't care if Zdenka returns right away. They want you two to have a child to become part of their family as much as yours." Jay turned pale at that, but then paused to think for a moment. "Isn't that kind of an unnecessarily complicated, far fetched plot?" he asked. "No." Liu Xi shrugged. "It's what I would do. If I wanted to create a super powered force and make sure it keeps going forever I would want the participants to have children together. As many as possible." "Great." Jay paced the attic a little. "Now I'm even more nervous about my date, having an entire country thinking they depend on me to--" He looked down when Liu Xi handed him something. "What's this?" "The solution to your problem." She held it out closer to him. "Since you haven't had a successful date in quite a while I thought you wouldn't have one of these." Jay took the small plastic pouch from her, and his eyes widened when he realized it was a plastic bag with a set of CrazySugarFreakBoy! branded condoms. "Liu Xi," he tried to answer calmly as he handed it back to her, "I don't have any plans to--" "But maybe she does." She pushed his hand away, insisting he keep them. "If I am wrong, what difference could it make? If I am right it will mean all the difference." "Hmm." Jay looked down at the packet in his hands and quickly shoved them into his pocket, almost afraid that someone would see...even though no one knew he or Liu Xi were in the attic. "Where did you get these anyway?" "I helped Dream prepare for his sex-ed class with the juniors," she told him. "He gave me stuff for free. Stuff I can't use." Jay couldn't help but laugh at that too. "How did that class go anyway?" "It was very well done," she admitted. "I was afraid he might embarrass them all, but it was very tasteful. He even got a few laughs." "And you just carry the stuff he gave you around?" Jay asked. She smiled. "No," she replied. "I expected you to meet with me before your date." Liu Xi squinted at him suddenly. "Can I make a small suggestion?" "Sure." Jay nodded. Liu Xi toweled off her hands gently with the napkin and then stood. She stepped in front of Jay, though she was short enough that he could still see over the top of her head. She gently took the tie he wore in her hands and untied it, placing it over her own shoulder. "Much better," she said, as she also unbuttoned his top shirt button. "But...my tie--" he protested. "Makes you look stuffy," Liu Xi told him. "I like the crisp blue shirt, though. Very sexy." "You think so?" Jay cheered up at hearing that. She nodded. "Go and enjoy your date," she said. "Leave her dreaming about you after." Jay smiled. "I like that. Leave her dreaming about me." He gave Liu Xi a quick wave and then retreated from the attic. -- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2005 by Jason Froikin, and may not be -- reprinted without permission. -- Liu Xi Xian (C) 2005 by Jason Froikin, all rights reserved -- All other characters property of their respective owners |
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